teencry:

i remember song lyrics from my favorite songs 5 years ago but i don’t remember what i learned in school yesterday

(via funny-text-posts)

I really hate when I put food in the microwave and it starts popping and making explosive noises so I check it and it’s freezing cold like why you gotta play me like that

(via funny-text-posts)

harryhickey:

sadderdays:

garlic bread is fucking gross

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(via funny-text-posts)

pemsylvania:

so apparently it is against the hospital rules for me to practice stunts on my bike in their parking lot??? why?? because I might get hurt??? good thing I’m at the hospital

(Source: pemsylvania, via funny-text-posts)